woman in hospice holding daughters hand

How to Be a Good Guest When Visiting Someone Receiving Hospice At Home

Hospice Is About Quality Of Life. How Can You Add To This?

According to the CDC, approximately 1.5 million people receive the hospice benefit in 2020. These statistics make it likely that, at some point, you’ll pay a visit to a loved one who is getting hospice services.

Such a visit understandably brings up concerns. You want to ensure that you make a connection with your loved one without being burdensome, insensitive, or unwelcome.

To help make your visit meaningful, follow these tips so you can better understand what to expect.

Before You Go, Here’s What to Know About Hospice Care

First, it’s important to understand what hospice is and what it is not. Not everyone receiving hospice care is “at the end.” However, you should also keep in mind that hospice is not palliative care.

Hospice and palliative care are different from each other in the sense that hospice patients have decided they no longer want to undergo treatment for a life-limiting illness, but palliative care patients are continuing treatment. Hospice patients have decided they’d prefer to be at home where they can be as comfortable and symptom-free as possible.

Hospice looks different for each patient depending on their circumstances. This is critical to keep in mind because you don’t want a misconception or stereotype about hospice to change how you approach your visit. One characteristic, however, defines hospice for all who seek it: hospice is about enhancing a person’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs, so they can have the best quality of life possible.

5 Tested Tips For Visiting a Loved One In Hospice

These tips will guide you as you decide to pay a visit to a loved one who is receiving hospice at home.

  1. Call ahead and respect boundaries: People receiving home hospice care participate in scheduled visits from their nurses and other team members. Other friends or family members may also be visiting, and your loved one may take periods of rest throughout the day.

    Calling in advance of your visit is the best way to communicate that you’re sensitive to your loved one’s needs and boundaries, so you don’t overwhelm them or visit at the wrong time. Check to see when is the best time to visit. Family caregivers will likely know what time of day your loved one has the most energy or availability to see you.

  2. Take health precautions: Remember, your loved one’s health is fragile, given that they’re no longer receiving treatment for their condition or illness. Their immune system may not be able to handle an infection. If you’re not feeling well, it’s best not to visit. If you’re asked to wear a mask, do so, and be sure to follow other hygiene rules like handwashing.

  3. Think about what you can add: A good rule of thumb for any visit, especially in a situation that may be difficult, is to think, “What can I bring to this situation?” or “How can I be of service?” If you understand that your loved one’s focus is on their quality of life, consider how you can contribute to that mission by asking family members how you can help.

  4. Words matter: Many people who visit loved ones receiving hospice care are lost for words. You may want to say something comforting, but not everyone has the gift of showing their care this way. Just be sure not to use clichés that may end up being more hurtful than helpful. Consider your choice of words that capture this spirit: “You matter to me, I care about you, and I’m here for you.” You don’t have to be a wordsmith or a great speaker to let your loved one know what they mean to you. Read this resource that may help you find the right words.

  5. Consider the family: Immediate family members of someone who is receiving hospice care may also have needs that you can support. They may be up late at night helping to care for their loved one, or they’re recovering from the challenges that lead to electing hospice care in the first place, such as countless hospital and emergency room visits.

    See how you can be helpful for family members, too, like bringing them a meal or doing basic housekeeping tasks. What can you do that will ease their burden? Remember that they may already be starting to grieve their loved one, and perhaps there’s a way to be there for them through that grief.

When Visiting a Friend Receiving Hospice Care, Your Gift Is Your Presence

Most importantly, remember that everyone has different preferences and needs. Perhaps there are people for whom these rules or tips aren’t as essential as they are for others.

No matter how you decide to approach your visit, your presence is an immense gift. Whether a person is receiving palliative care, hospice care, or another form of medical care at home, they all want to feel a human connection.

This is why leading providers of hospice care near you provide a hospice nurse, hospice care aides, a chaplain, specialists, social workers, and volunteers to support their patients. The presence of others, especially those who demonstrate their compassion and concern, are a powerful force in our lives.

Thank you for wanting to make that impact on your loved one. Your thoughtfulness about how to have a meaningful visit according to your loved one’s wishes is an incredible gesture of love and empathy all by itself.

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