adult son with senior father

‘Tis the Season: How to Talk to Your Loved One About Their Need For More Help At Home

Private Duty Care Services Often Begin With Sensitive Conversations During the Holidays

Now that the holiday season is upon us, families spend more time with each other. We travel to see our loved ones, we gather in each others’ homes, and we reflect on the year past and our intentions for the year ahead.

This time of year, we’re all a little more tuned-in to each other. That’s why you’re more likely to recognize the signs that your loved one needs more support at home.

Perhaps you’ve started to notice that they’re struggling to keep up during the holidays like they used to, they seem lonely, or they haven’t been able to manage self-care or keep up their home like in the past.

It could be time to consider outside help with private duty home care services. However, you want to ensure you address this topic with sensitivity, compassion, and empathy for your loved one. The following eight tips will show you how.

8 Tips For How to Talk to Your Loved One About Private Duty Care At Home

If you believe your loved one could benefit from private duty care to help support their needs at home, you want to ensure the conversation is well-received. Remember, this is the holidays, a time of year meant for celebration. However, it’s also a time of year that can be very stressful for many families, due to expectations and even the grief that comes with things being different because a loved one is ill.

It is important to proceed thoughtfully if you decide to talk to your loved one about receiving private duty care. Consider these tips to guide you through this process:

Observe Your Loved One

Begin by making observations on your own. What does your loved one appear to need the most help with? What have you noticed that seems different or lacking, when compared with how they were managing their care and home last year?

The National Institute on Aging and U.S. News and World Report identify several signs that more help is needed:

  • A change in hygiene or physical appearance
  • Issues with mobility that prevent them from completing certain tasks at home
  • Forgetfulness
  • Significant weight loss or weight gain
  • Difficulty driving
  • Injuries, such as bruising, that may indicate that they’ve fallen at home
  • Mistakes or forgetfulness with medications
  • A change in how housework, laundry, pet care, or other daily chores are managed

Get Your Family Members’ Thoughts

Ask other family members what they’ve observed. They may have a more clear sense of how your loved one is faring at home.

Don’t Offer Help Without a Solution

Do research on what private duty care typically provides. Talk to a private duty care team to understand their offerings. Share this information with your loved one at the right time.

Lovingly Communicate Your Thoughts With Your Loved One

Share with your loved one what you’ve observed. Stick with facts and what you’ve noticed, as opposed to statements that may be perceived as criticism. For example, say, “I notice that it seems very hard for you now to prepare meals by yourself.” This is a far more sensitive and gentle approach than “I think you need help preparing meals.” The former invites your loved one to share their thoughts. The latter puts your loved one on the defensive. This resource from AARP gives several suggestions for how to effectively communicate with loved ones about caregiving.

Listening Is Key

Hear your loved one’s thoughts and feelings. When you share your observations kindly and gently, you are likely to open up space for conversation. You may discover that your loved one agrees with what you’re saying and wants to collaborate with you on a solution.

Private Duty Care Is About Independence

Consider bringing up private duty care as a way for your loved one to remain independent, not as a service that will make your loved one feel less empowered. It is important that your loved one understands they can remain in the comfort of their home, while still getting all their needs met.

Explain That You Care About Your Loved One’s Quality Of Life

Consider framing private duty home care services as a way to enhance your loved one’s quality of life, so they have more time to do the things they enjoy. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed you don’t enjoy a certain activity as much as you used to. I wonder how having a caregiver could help give you back more of your time and energy for your hobbies or passions?”

Mention Respite Care When Appropriate

You may also share with your loved one that private duty care will help the entire family. Private duty caregivers are available to provide respite care for family caregivers in two-hour blocks, up to 24/7 round-the-clock care. It may comfort your loved one to know that their decision will benefit those around them who may need a break from all the help they give.

Express Your Love

Always remember to communicate your care for your loved one. Emphasize that you want to help them out of concern and that you don’t intend to make disruptive changes or criticize their choices. You simply want to present a resource that can make their lives better when they require more help than they can provide for themselves.

Private Duty Care May Be the Next Positive Step Forward For Your Loved One

These conversations aren’t always perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes along the way. It’s equally okay if your loved one doesn’t react how you’d hope when bringing up these important home services. Private duty caregivers may even have further suggestions to help you and your family introduce this kind of support to your loved one.

Countless individuals receive private duty care throughout the year, and they thrive because of it. With a thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate approach, you can help your loved one see the value of having help at home.

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